1010 3 King of Hedjaz. We shall not refuse to the Holy Trinity what we have granted to Heathens and Moslems. Clemenceau. If Trinity insists to be heard by the Council of Three its representative may be allowed to speak. (To Jesus:) Please be seated on the chair of our absent fellow member Orlando. (Somebody knocks.) Come in. Assistent (enters0 A wireless for President Wilson. Wilson (opens and rcads:) A telegram from the New York Times: "Just hear from my friend Northcliffe. Quote. Jesus has come again. Unquote. Have called world conference of theologians for day of his arrival. Main meeting, subject: interpretation of the principle chapters St. John's Revelation. Jesus please first paper. Stop. Tips for debate. Stop. Armageddon — Marne. Stop. Babyion — Berlin. Stop. Antichrist — the Kaiser. Stop. Flight of the woman into the wilderness — deportation of the Armenians. Stop. New Jerusalem — Zionism. Stop. Gog and Magog — Lenin and Trotzki. Stop. Rèturn wire please. Ochs." What do you think of it, gentlemen? Clemenceau. Wire back, he is off his handle. (The telephone rings.) Lloyd George (takes off the receiver). Lambeth Palace again. (Annoyed, hangs up the receiver. To Jesus 0 The Bishop has given orders that upon your departure for England a Bock of Common Prayer and the 39 Articles be presented to you in his name. Moreover the Bishop asks you to kindly receive no dissenters, least of all the Quakers. Clemenceau presses a button.- Servant enters. Clemenceau. Disconnect our telephone. (Exit Servant.) Clemenceau. Gentlemen, the meeting is opened. (To Jesus:) What gives us the pleasure of your presence ? JeSUS (turns to Wilson:) I hear that it is your intention to found the Kingdom of Peace on earth. Wilson. Yes, Sir. I am happy to have been able to convince these two gentlemen that the Covenant of the League of Nations should be made the first article of the Peace Treaty with Germany. The Covenant is my idea. And I am proud of it that America has succeeded in the 20* century to realize what you failed in accomplishing in the fïrst. In England we are envied because we conceived the idea of the League of Nations, that guarantees the peace of all mankind. Lloyd George. We do not envy, we contest your priority, Mr. Wilson. For it is evident that any peace is defined by the type of war it concludes. It is we that have defined the type of this war. You know the utterances of Mr. Balfour and Mr. Smuts as well as my own. The war we have carried on against the Germans is the war for justice, righteousness, and democracy against militarism, Junkerism, and autocracy, the war of light against darkness, the war against the Antichrist, in fact a Holy War. A Holy War cannot be ended but by a Holy Peace. (To Jesus-.) By the way, we have decided to call the Emperor to account. May we ask you to preside over this Court? Jesus. According to which law will you pass sentence ? Lloyd George. According to the law of morality. Jesus. Are you óf the same opinion, Mr. Wilson? Wilson. According to the 10 commandments and international law. Jesus. And you, M. Clemenceau? Clemenceau. According to any law that serves lts purpose. Jesus. Do you know the 10 commandments, M. Clemenceau ? Clemenceau. I do not know Hebrew. * Jesus. And you, Mr. Lloyd George? Lloyd George. IknowonlytheEnglishversion, but I believe that it holds good for all Christian nations. Jesus. How do you read them? Lloyd George. Let me sée. I am the Commonwealth, thy God, thou shalt ' have no other Gods before me. Thou shalt make unto thee instruments of war in likeness of all that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath or* that is in the water under the earth. Thou shalt glory in the name of thy country and swear by its colours. For the Commonwealth, thy God, will not hold him guiltless that swears by other colours. Keep the Bank Holiday to sanctify it. Six days shalt thou labour and do business, but for the weekend thou shalt go to the country. Honour thy native country that thy days may be long upon the lands that thou hast taken from others. Thou shalt kill thine enemies. Thou shalt starve their wives and children. Thou shalt steal their business, customers, and patents. Thou shalt falsely accuse thine enemies. Thou shalt covet thine enemy's land, money, ships, cables, colonies, missionary property or anything that is his. For I the Lord, thy God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of thine enemies upon their children unto the third and fourth generation and shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me and keep these commandments. Jesus. Is such your Christian catechism? Lloyd George. Have you a different one? Jesus. That is the devil's catechism. Lloyd George. Is that so? I shall ask the Bishop of London (takes off the receiver). Clemenceau. The telephone is disconnected. Jesus (to Wilson:) And upon this law you intend to base the League of Nations and the Kingdom of Peace ? Wilson. No, Sir. The foundation of the League of Nations are my 14 points, a trifle mixed with Lloyd George's 10 commandments. You must know, I am not the boss. M. Clemenceau does not want to listen to my League of Nations. Mr. Lloyd George insists upon his IO commandments. So we have arranged to pool the 14 points and the 10 commandments. Jesus. And do you agree, M. Clemenceau? Clemenceau. I agree that 10 and 14 make 24. Lloyd George. Our 24 points are the Great Charter of the League of Nations. They are like the 24 elders that are seated round about the throne of the cherubim and we — like the four beasts upon whose wings thrones Eternal Peace, I the lion, the calf Orlando, the flying eagle Wilson, and the fourth beast that has a face as an 'homme libre' — Clemenceau. Clemenceau. You are nutty, Lloyd George. Lloyd George. Better I than you, or else you w,ill be 'enchainé'. The British lion nobody will chain, since we won the Holy War. All I have to do is to press the button and the blockade starts. Every day a thousand women and children! You would have to build some navy, Wilson, before you beat tbis record. The Turks tried to outdo us with their Armenians, but we beat them two to one. Jesus. Do you know the fourth prayer, Mr. Lloyd George ? Lloyd George. Give us this day our daily bread. Jesus. Who are the "us"? Lloyd George. We, the English. Or do you believe the English people is so foolish as to ask the Lord that he give bread to our enemies? An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth, a ton for a ton, and a cow for a cow. Clemenceau. A corsaire corsaire et demi. Lloyd George. Standard 16 to 10. Jesus. And on these principles, Mr. Wilson, you want to base the League of Nations and the Kingdom of Peace? Wilson. Do you believe that we have miscalculated? For that case I have supplemented the Covenant by a contract of reinsurance between England, France, and ourselves against Germany. To reduce their numbers we squeeze io°/0 of them into other nations that are their enemies. Moreover we leave only so much for them to work and eat, that 33 °/G of the rest will die or get out. So I believe we have the best chance for the millennium, to boycot the Antichrist and to throw Gog and Magog into the lake of fire. My theological expert has advised me that my policies tally completely with the program of the prophets. Jesus. Gentlemen, May I ask you which religion you profess? Clemenceau. Make a guess. Jesus. You, M. Clemenceau, are a Heathen. Clemenceau. Right you are. And these two gentlemen ? Jesus. Are Moslems. Lloyd George. I sayl Wilson. I am anxious to hear your reasons. My expert claims that the American people is a Christian people. Lloyd George. And I am quite sure that the. Bishop of London feels the same way about the British people. • Jesus. But you say that you have fought the Holy War. Lloyd George. And we are damn'd proud of it. Jesus. So you are proud of being Moslems. The Djihad, the Holy War, is Mohammedan. And you profess that the sword is the weapon to promote and to maintain the Kingdom of God and in doing so to plunder the whole world. Lloyd George. We went into the war for Belgium. As to ourselves we desire nothing. Jesus. If you entered this war with clean hands, you should come out of the war with empty hands. But whatever your arguments, you believe in the Holy War, as the Moslems do. If I had wished to establish the Kingdom of Peace by means of a Holy War, the cross would have been spared me. Wilson. Is there a precedence that Christians did not believe in the Holy War? I shall ask my expert about the principles of the first Christians. (Sends out a note.) Clemenceau. Never mind taking the trouble. Peoples that call themselves Christian could always be recognized by the fact that they "preached the cross" against somebody, be it Jew, Heathen, Moslem or Christian. "In hoe signo vinces" started it with Constantine. Then came our Clovis and Charlemagne. Then Popes, Kings, Emperors, Crusaders, Knight Templars, Conquistadores, and it is not so long that Catholics and Protestants vied with each other in burning heretics and witches. As you know, the cross is a Christian symbol, be Lloyd George. Not that I know. Wilson, were you allied with the Czar? Wilson. Quit your jokes. I fought for democracy. Lloyd George. That's what Ithought. Clemenceau, have you been allied with the Czar? Clemenceau. Why not? Lloyd George. Aren't you ashamed to say that the Tiger of the Republic has allied himself with the Bear of Autocracy? Clemenceau. The memory of the lion seems to be short. Lloyd George. Not too short for me. I remember only that much, that when Wilson joined our war, I put a new record in my Victor. I used up the old one: "God will protect the Czar". Why not? The melody was not so different from our: "God save the King". Siöce then my phonograph plays only the Marseillaise, Tipperary, and "Over there". (To jesus:) But you have not told us what you want to do with the Socialists in Amsterdam. Even before the war I promised a beefsteak more every week to the workmen to be taken from the rich. The rich I let •the Huns feed. If you come across with two beefstéaks, who is to pay for them? You had better hand out to the Socialists Wilson's 14 points with my stuffing. Wilson. Mr. Lloyd George, Honour! My 14 points are no beefstéaks. Lloyd George. Your 14 points are caviar for the general. The workmen want beefstéaks, not points. Ask our guest. He too has been a working man. (He turns around and notices that Jesus has disappeared.) Clemenceau. Why didn't you say that right away? You have smuggled in a Syndicalist. It is high time to adjourn. (Somebody knocks.) Servant (enters and hands a note to Mr. Wilson). Wilson. One moment, M. Clemenceau. I received the report from Mr. Mott I asked for: An excerpt of the original Christian teachings. Clemenceau. Well, I am anxious to hear against whom the fïrst Christians have preached the cross. Read. Wilson (i). The labourer is worthy of his hire. Luke io, 7. Clemenceau. That is nothing new, Socialism. Wilson (2). To him that worketh is the reward not reckoned of grace, but of debt. Rom. 4, 4. Lloyd George. Marxism, simply Marxism. Wilson (3). If any would not work, neither should he eat. 2 Thess. 3, 10. Clemenceau. Purest Bolshevism. Wilson (4). And all that believed were together and had all things common; And sold their possessions and goods, and parted them to all men, as every man had need. Acts 2, 44. 45. Lloyd George. That beats it all, Communism. Wilson (5). Go to now, ye rich men, weep and howl for your miseries that shall come upon you. Behold, the hire of the labourers who have reaped down your fields, which is of you kept back by fraud, crieth: and the cries of them which have reaped are entered into thé ears of the Lord of sabaoth. James 5, 1. 4. Clemenceau. The third international. Wilson (6). Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's.... Lloyd George. Kaiserism. Wilson (7). ... and to God the things that are God's. Mark. 12, 17. Clemenceau. Clericalism. Wilson (8). All they that take the sword shall per- ish with the sword. Matt. 26, 52. Lloyd George. Antimilitarism. Wilson (9). Whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. Matt. 5, 39. Clemenceau. Tolstoism. Lloyd George. The Germans should take that to heart. Wilson (10). Why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye ? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye. Matt. 7, 3. 5. Clemenceau. We don't open our archives. Wilson (11). Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you. Luke 6, 27. 28. Lloyd George. That is the first point we can use. § 441 of our peace conditions for the Germans! Wilson (12). God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this German. Luke 18, 11. Clemenceau. A good text for the Tedeum. Lloyd George. The Bishop shall preach on it at the Celebration of Peace. Wilson (13). And before him shall be gathered all nations; and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats. And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left. Matt. 26, 32. 33. Clemenceau. That means you, Wilson. Place the Boches on the one side and all other nations on the other side and you have the League of Nations. Wilson (14). Judge not, that ye be not judged. And thinkest thou this, o man, that judgest them which do such things, and doest the same, that thou shalt escape the judgment of God? Matt. 7, 1. Rom. 2, 3. Clemenceau. Après nous le déluge. Is that all? Wilson. More than enough. Clemenceau. What is the doctrine that contains such nonsense? Lloyd George. The Gospel, M. Clemenceau. Clemenceau. Then the Gospel is nothing but a chantage allemand. Lloyd George. Don't say that, M. Clemenceau. It is not wise to act according to the Gospel, but wise to preach it. Don't worry. We, the English, shall not bother about it until the Germans have paid the uttermost farthing. You don't know the English. Nobody knows them except me and Bernard Shaw. Wilson. I hope, Mr. Lloyd George, your people will be as satisfied with you as the world is with me. Clemenceau. And I with myself. Gentlemen, we have lost much time with this foreigner. Let us return to our own affairs. ■ H Gedrukt bij DE ERVEN LOOSJES, Haarlem. ü mi JESUS AT THE PEACE CONFERENCE. RIGHT OF TRANSLAT ION IcSERVED. Price f 0,40. To be purcha8ed through any Bookseller from the publlsher, The Hague, Nassau-Zuilensteinstr. 3. JESUS AT THE PEACE CONFERENCE. MINUTES OF A MEETING OF THE COUNCIL OF THREE PÜBLISHED BY J. LEPSIUS. D.D. M. Clemenceau, Mr. Wilson and Mr. Lloyd G e o r g e sit at the table. J e s u s enters through closed doors. Clemenceau presses a button. Servant enters. Clemenceau. How dare you let anybody enter unanounced. Servant. I did not see him. Wilson rises, bows and is about to offer Jesus a chair. Lloyd George (tarns to Clemenceau and whispers into his ear:) Don't you know who that is? Clemenceau. I do not know anybody who has not been introduced to me, and if it were God I I himself. And, by the way, we have separated State and Church. Here in France no God may mix in matters of State. W i 1S O n (horrified, looks at Clemenceau and Iets go of the chair) We in America do not acknowledge a State Religion, but that does not prevent us from treating courteously the Men of God. Clemenceau. Alright, then I shall invite the Devil to our meetings, and for parity's sake you will have no objection.. Lloyd George. I shall ask the Bishop of London. (Tojesus:) Excuse me. (Takes off the receiver.) Connect me with London, Lambeth Falace .... Halloh .... Here Lloyd George .... Dear Bishop, Jesus is here and wishes to attend a meeting of our Council of Three. Orlando is in Rome .... Wilson. What did the Bishop say? Lloyd George (hangs up the receiver. To Jesus:) The Bishop is very anxious to see you as soon as possible. He is of the opinion that in so unusual a case the Church must have precedence before the State. He will immediately inform the Archbishops of Canterbury and York and will convene all the Bishops of the United Kingdom. He will be highly honoured to introducé your Holiness to the high reverend assembly. When do you intend to leave for London? I am sure, M. Clemenceau will have the kindness to put a special train at your disposal. Clemenceau. Atanytime.Thequicker,thesooner. Lloyd George (again takes off the receiver:) Connect me with Lord Northcliffe, please.... Halloh .... Here Lloyd George.... Northcliffe, Jesus has come to Paris •.. Halloh .. . Halloh . .. Halloh ... We were disconnected .... Did you get it ?.... Wilson. What does he say? Lloyd George. He had disconnected the line to talk to his representative in Paris. (To jesus:) The correspondent of the Daily Mail desires to have an interview with you as soon as you leave our conference. Wilson (to Jesus:) May I ask you to excuse me a moment? (He kneels down and puts his ear to the floor.) Clemenceau (amused). The devil, what are you doing, Wilson? Wilson. I am listening to what the U. S. have to say. Lloyd George. He got that from his Indians. Wilson (rises). Clemenceau. Will you breathe the word, Mr. Wilson? What does America say? Wilson. America places the George Washington at the disposal of the Lord to cross over to Boston and then to visit all the States. John Mott, manager. Ten thousend Camp Meetings guaranteed. Coüections for the Evangelization of the World in this Generation. M. Clemenceau, I am of the opinion that we should hear Jesus. It can hardly be in your interest to give the Republicans a chance to exploit so important a personality against us. Clemenceau (looks at his wrist watch). I give him "10 minutes. Do you agree, Mr. Lloyd George? Lloyd George. I opine that the English people is no less Christian than the American. We have listened to the Maharadja and to the son óf the it two pieces of wood or the hilt of a sword. The only 'difference between Moslems and Christians, when they draw the sword, is that the Moslems pray to God and the Prophet, the Christians to il padre, il figlio e il sacro egoismo. Lloyd George. You are a cynic, a heathen and a publican. Clemenceau. Ifl have the choice between cynism and cant, between publican and pharisee, I prefer cynism and publican. Lloyd George. You are the limit. Think of us. We are at the same time the greatest Christian and the greatest Mohammedan Power. What we in England need, is a book that one can read as readily from left to right and from right to left, from the front to the back and from the back to the front. We have made one book out of the Bible and the Koran and we can read it both ways. Only so was it possible to read Wilson's 14 points and the 10 commandments out of the same text. A different method we use in the House of Commons. We have two sets of speakers in each party. Since the thoughts are wont to accuse or else excuse one another, we separate them and allot to each thought time and hour when he can help most and do the least damage. Whenever we are about to pocket something, we let loose the thoughts that excuse us, and when nobody thinks of handing out what was pocketed, we let loose the thoughts that accuse us. So we remain both, successful and conscientious. We shall always have that on the Germans. Wilson. I am shocked at your language, Mr. Lloyd George. Clemenceau. And I am charmed. Wilson. You will thoroughly discredit my 14 points with your ten commandments. Lloyd George. Certainly not, if you foliow my advice. Your 14 points will have the best chance to survive Eternity, if you cancel everything they contain and only leave the points. And then, in case the Germans do not sign our conditions, we shall have even more space for my 10 commandments, and you can nevertheless swear that any peace we dictate conforms with your points. (To Jesus:) Have you any other questions? Jesus. I prefer to put them to the International Socialist Conference in Amsterdam. Lloyd George. Remember me most kindly to Mr. Henderson. Clemenceau. I am not quite sure whether we can give you a passport. Wilson. I can understand that you looked us up here in Paris, as your ideals meet mine; but I beg of you, what do you want in Amsterdam? Jesus. It may be, that I find men there who are willing to conclude peace on my points. Lloyd George. Your points? Clemenceau. Let your trip to Amsterdam go. Mr. Jaurès is dead long ago, and nobody troubles about him. Lloyd George. Count Tolstoi is gone too. He did not even wait for the Czar. jesus. Your ally?